Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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