Just cropdusted the office
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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