I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
