found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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