Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
