He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
