Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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