he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
