Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i drank out of a bidet.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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