So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
