The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
