how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
