Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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