just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
