we have officially lost it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
