I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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