where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
