Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
