he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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