i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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