I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why do cheetos always look like penises
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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