It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
