thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
