i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
