my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
