Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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