so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
