carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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