drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
love makes seman taste better
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am one with the molecules
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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