No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
