your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
