Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
