i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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