Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
