i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
