can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you will always have a special place in my vag
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Found your dick twin last night
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
