you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
