Christians are straight up FREAKS
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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