Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Please don't give away my fajitas
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
