Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
