so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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