Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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