Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
