If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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