You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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