she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
