Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
