If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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