my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think my mom watched the whole time
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
All the doctor said was why
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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