I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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