The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
