My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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