Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
