i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
