WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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