Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
