porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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