New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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