at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
