so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
