i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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