I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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